User: silverevil46
by MySwanSong
Summary: Draco Malfoy’s Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the User: quidditchlovrhp series. Mystery, murders, humor, and love. SLASH (HPDM)
1. Entry 1

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Monday September 1**

**_Blasted School_**

I simply cannot fathom why my Father and the school's board of directors have let that twit Dumbledore do this to us. He has convinced the whole bloody Board, Father included!, to let him further our Muggle Studies class. Basically he wants us to 'feel how muggles feel', 'do what muggles do', and 'live like muggles do.' Bloody bullshit if you ask me, which no one seems to be doing nowadays ever since I hexed that witch Pansy...

What I'm talking about is Dumbledore has set-up Muggle Study Stations all over the school. There are five in the library and twenty in each of the four common rooms. What is a Mggle Study Station you probably ask? Well it is a horrid metal desk with a humming box on top... I do believe the boxes are called compters, but I'm not sure. I didn't pay much attention obviously. I mean, why would I? It's bloody muggle shit, who cares about that? Not me...

I feel this year will be horrible already... I dumped Crabbe and Goyle over the summer when they started acting suspicious, Suspicious as in they knew I would never obey that freak my Father worships... I'll leave it at that...

So right now, I basically have no friends. I've never even really had friends before, just acquaintances... Bother that, rather minions to do whatever I say. I must congratulate my acting skills, for the two brutes were only listening to me because they thought I was going to follow in my Father's footsteps and become rich as bloody hell...

I may not have friends, but I have plenty of enemies. I dare not sit with my fellow house anymore at any meals besides breakfast. A Slytherin knows when to tread carefully.

-DM

Mood: bitchy

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	2. Entry 2

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Monday September 1**

**_Later: Interesting Finds_**

Well, I must say, I found something quite interesting while searching some of the journals here. I believe I have found Harry Potter's journal! I acted a tad immaturely and signed up in a different username and left a few comments, but it was quite fun. The prat doesn't even know who I am! Just to annoy him (again more immaturity on my part) I added him to my friend's list.

It wasn't all good though... Apparently there is some rumor going around this moronic school that I am gay. I'm fairly certain I know who started it, as they... er… them caught me unawares and doing something I will not mention here, for I know not who or what is reading this journal.

I'm beginning to think I may be forced to find somewhere else to spend my nights for I have already found a dung-bomb under my pillow. Probably planted there by one of the two gorillas...

I caused myself some embarrassment, for in my fury I ran out into the hall, still clutching the dung-bomb at the same time determined to smash it in either of the gorilla's faces. This was when Filch, yes Filch that pimple-eating squib, decided to stroll through the dungeons, when whom did he see holding a dung-bomb menacingly? You guessed it... I am faced with a detention tomorrow, and it being only the second day of school is quite a record on my part.

I fear something is amiss with my Father (he currently resides in Azkaban) for Mother sent quite an anxious owl to me an hour or two ago. It was quite formal, but her writing was a tad more shaky then usual. Thus I am guessing something may happen soon.

Mother tells me that we only have twelve house elves left, all the other's keep ending up dead or missing. I am guessing that something is lurking around the Malfoy Manor's forest feasting on our servants. It's a pity; too, as I do hope that no harm has come to the dear old elf named Lampshade. It's a dreadful name really, but he insisted on naming himself that for some odd reason or another... Secretly I have become quite attached to this particular elf, he was sort of my living diary for awhile as I told him everything.

Something upstairs has just crashed, and I do try and keep myself from being pummeled by my fellow Slytherins, so I must log off for now.

-DM

Mood: indifferent

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	3. Entry 3

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Tuesday September 2**

I have taken moved my sleeping quarters to a rather spacious closet on the fourth floor. Dreadful as it sounds, it is rather cozy- nothing on Malfoy Manor, though I do despise that place. I talked with Professor Snape about my... dorm mate problems, and he has agreed to move my detention from Filch to tomorrow instead of today. He seemed a tad sympathetic, which is very unusual for him.

I received once again another odd letter from Mother, she ranted on about how I must stick together with my trusted friends. I have failed to notify her of my current problem with having any friends.

There is a quidditch match this coming Sunday, which I am not at all pleased about. I am still the Slytherin seeker, even though I rarely catch the snitch. I hope they soon kick me off of this retched team, I feel no pride in wearing the green quidditch robes anymore. I may have to cause some disturbance soon for my fellow teammates, or I may never be taken off of the team. I just have to do some careful planning...

I will not discuss that for now...

I have taken up the habit of spending my alone time sitting by the lake against a large oak's trunk. Few people venture outside nowadays, though I know not why as there is so much gossip going around school that I fail to understand how some people could live like that. Myself included, for did I not spend many years as the leader of the Slytherin students? Ugh, I despise what I have done in the past.

I wonder if I should start taking on a new leaf. I already have no friends, all of Hogwarts hates me, how much worse could it possible get? Though that horrible slut Pansy still is filled with lust when she sees me... I also fail to understand how I could have allowed her to ever have slept with me all those times. I must say I do regret what I have done in the past a little...

I have home work to finish. Adieu.

-DM

Mood: discontent

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	4. Entry 4

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Thursday September 4**

It's early in the morning, I know, but I have started having trouble sleeping. Something, I don't know what, seems to be nagging at me. I think some change has surly gone over me for I have started to feel more alive and I see things in a new light. For now I shall not mention how I am seeing things, for I never knew I was like this myself...

In detention today I had to sit for two hours straight next to Harry Potter. I seemed quite fidgety and kept sneaking glances at me. I chose to act indifferent even though I was wondering what could possibly be going on underneath that mop of black hair. I think that boy really does need a haircut, or maybe a mirror even. Does he bother looking at himself in the morning?

I have been trying to go outside in the sunniest hours of the day, but am getting no tanner. I remain the hideous pale white I have been since birth.

Something is going to happen tomorrow, I just feel it. Mother has once again sent me a letter, except this time I could barely read her scrawl. She has told me to watch out, which Is what I have been doing and have noticed nothing amiss.

All day I have been getting cold stares from my house mates, and I know not why. Perhaps there is some rumor going around about me once again. Doesn't anyone understand? I may have caused them to loath me more when I helped Granger pick up her books today. I know how much my house despises mudbloods. I purposefully have been overly helpful all day, I must admit I haven't been approached by anyone yet with a proposed beating, but I may be soon.

-DM

Mood: depressed

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	5. Entry 5

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Friday September 5**

I feel absolutely wretched today, and for more then one reason.

Five deatheaters escaped from Azkaban, including my Father. It seems this was what Mother had been warning me against, though how she new I know not.

It may seem cruel of me to say I am unhappy about the escape of my Father, but I will explain a bit.

First of all, Father only acknowledges me as the last of the Malfoy blood and the heir of Malfoy Manor. He does not care about me, except for the mere fact that I exist to continue the Malfoy line for which is his only reason to acknowledge my existence. His only fear is that I will die before I produce a son, probably from some bloody slut he picks out for me...

The other reason I am unhappy? I am still confused about it, and know not what to say or how to explain. I will leave it at that till I understand better.

It seems the rumors have reached their peak. Apparently I have slept with thousands of people, men and woman included, and my latest conquest was Mother. What brainless git would imagine me sleeping or even thinking of Mother like that in any way? I fail to understand the student body.

I am in a reckless mood tonight; maybe I will spam a certain someone's journal...

But what's the use? Nothing will ever come of it. Granted I will most likely be forced to continue casting myself as the arrogant git- though I do wish I didn't have to act so unfeeling…. sometimes.

As of late I cannot walk through the halls without menacing stares, certain middle fingers pointed rudely in my direction, and snickers from my classmates. All I wish to know is what I did wrong, or what went wrong.

But then again I shouldn't care, really I shouldn't. Caring gets you nothing in life. Whether I like it or not, the world will still turn no matter what I do.

I have been feeling quite depressed lately, maybe all I need is someone to talk to. I have even been tempted to go find a house elf to ramble to, but I doubt it could help. I guess I shall continue living with my mask of indifference firmly in place...

-DM

Mood: numb

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	6. Entry 6

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Friday September 5**

**_Evening_****__**

I swear I have done an impeccably stupid thing... I don't know what demon has possessed me but... Ugh...! I made an extremely dumb bet with none other then Harry Potter. What, you may ask, kind of bet it is? Ugh... Read if you must here:

_A.) We must do whatever the opposite person (in my case, Potter) wants for three days every week that the opposite person chooses._

_B.) The next week I get to choose three days for Potter to do whatever I want._

_C.) We are not allowed to make the opposite person (in my case Potter) harm themselves or involve their friends in any way._

_D.) On a set date (at the end of the year) the loser is chosen by vote of the four houses. The loser will then have to do whatever the whole school wants for a whole day- meaning you do whatever anybody wants._

If you read the rules, then you will know why I am positive I will loose. Everyone hates me. This is one thing I can faithfully say I am sure of. As for my emotions, I am terribly confused…

Earlier today I found something out about a certain someone I have been acquainted with and how they were meeting Potter (anonymously) tomorrow night. I don't know what happened to my common sense, but I put a stop to the meeting at once. Potter didn't know what he was getting himself into and I... well, I fear I was worried for him. In some way shape or form I was worried for Harry Potter.

And so I proposed that if he doesn't go meet the 'anonymous' person, then we have this bet. Much to my relief (and brief confusion) Potter agreed.

Since when am I the savior of a fellow student? I must say this is the first time I have ever done something like this... But Harry will continue living, thinking of me as the git I most likely am, and will hopefully forget all about this wager of ours, though I fear it will be harder for me to let go.

I will chide myself no longer... Adieu.

-DM

Mood: confused

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	7. Entry 7

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Saturday September 6**

**_Night_****__**

It seems that I am not the only one being shunned. Apparently Potter is believed to have raped Ginny Weasley. That is simply disgusting; there is no other word for it. He denies doing this. He did admit to sleeping with her, though he had told me he was a virgin in or aim conversation. He says nothing really happened when he slept with Ginny Weasley (of all people).

A likley story.

Our little bet was supposed to go into place today, though I haven't seen Potter all day. This may be because I skipped all my classes. Father would be thrilled... My grades are only beginning to slip; I don't think I will let them go too far.

I made one last stop in the Slytherin common room earlier today around lunch. When I arrived I saw Crabbe staring at Goyle for no apparent reason. Both of their eyes looked bloodshot and they looked half asleep. I later discovered that they had been having a sort of staring/no sleeping contest... It has lasted 47 hours, so far, but they were allowed to blink... The things you miss when you spend all your day in a closet astounds me...

Tomorrow Mother is coming to visit me, which is when I suppose she will find out about my less then desired popularity. I could ask her to take me out of Hogwarts, but that would just be running away from my fears. I may not be all that brave, but I know when and when not to stand up for myself.

Earlier today I tried to speak with a house elf, but the little beast squealed with fright (?) ran away from me. I was curious, a little too curious, -as to why it was running away- so I followed. I lost it somewhere around the second floor, and became lost. I wandered a few hallways I had never seen before and then saw a familiar door. It was to the library, which is where I am writing this on the compter.

I swear something must be wrong with me. I just haven't been feeling up to my usual attitude... A first year trips in front of me, and spills her ink all over the floor. I don't laugh- rather I feel like I pity her. Crabbe and Goyle make a rude gesture in my direction and I ignore them and walk away. I have never felt so un... Un-Malfoyish ever. I must talk with Mother or someone...

Maybe I am deathly ill, or dying... Yes, that could be the case- many people hate me and my family, why wouldn't they poison me?

But now I'm getting a bit hysterical... I will definitely talk with Mother about this.

-DM

Mood: weird

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	8. Entry 8

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Sunday September 7**

**_Late at Night_**

Today at lunch I was informed by owl that I had been replaced on the Slytherin quidditch team by Roy Grander. He's such a big oaf I don't know why in the world they would choose him over me... But then again when you remember the part where everyone hates me, then you know why they replaced me.

I talked with Mother around 2pm and she laughed at me. I still can't believe that she laughed at me! It was humiliating! Here is what happened, and mind you this may not be exactly what was said, but oh well:

Me: Hello Mother.

Mother: Good afternoon Draco... What do you want to discuss with me? You seemed awfully worried.

Me: Well... I think something is wrong with me... I've been acting quite weird lately.

Mother: Please explain Draco darling...

Me: I am nice to people.

Mother: Well I hope so... Is that all?

Me: No! You don't understand, I've been all nice and... Happy... I don't know why but I feel helpful all of a sudden!

Mother: laughs Drcao dear, there's nothing wrong with you.

Me: I am not a 'happy' person Mother. I do not 'help' people.

Mother: And why not? Don't you want to make friends?

Me: Everyone hates me. Why would I want to be friends with someone that hates me?

Mother: Why would everyone hate you...? I doubt that you are hated by everyone, I don't hate you!

Me: I mean in school... And I don't know why everyone hates me...

Mother: Why would everyone hate you?

Me: I don't know!

Mother: Stop screaming Draco, it doesn't become you.

Me: I am not screaming!

Mother: laughs Draco your face is all red, please lower you voice... I am sorry, but I just don't see why you think you are in, as you wrote in your letter to me, mortal danger. You seem fine, darling.

Me: Mother! Don't leave!

Mother: Draco let go of me robes! There is nothing wrong with you!

Me: But Mother! Everyone hates me! There must be something wrong with me!

Mother: I am leaving.

Me: Fine... Leave me hear in my pitiful state to die.

Mother: Alright. Goodbye darling... Just a hint of advice, you may want to visit Madam Pomfrey today to get some sedatives for when you go to bed. We don't want you having any panic attacks.

Me: groans I don't need to be drugged... And I don't have panic attacks!

Mother: Goodbye. apparates

So, as you can see, Mother wasn't any help at all... The only advice she gave me was for me to drug myself to sleep. What kind of advice is that...?

The bet is on, and Potter is a git.

Yes, I suppose I will explain... I was walking through the hall and Potter stopped me and looked a tad worried. I wonder why? So he hands me this piece of parchment and asks me to do his potions essay... I forget the name of it, but anyway... He just stood there, and I watched him waiting for him to ask me to do more, but he didn't say anything! So I just shrugged and said, "whatever", and walked away. Quite odd.

I have to get to work on the damned essay soon... I suppose I'll go outside to work on it, as I don't want anyone to disturb me... I wonder if Snape will notice the difference... Hmmm...

Well I'm off to my favorite tree by the lake. Adieu

-DM

Mood: mellow

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	9. Entry 9

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Monday September 8**

**_Morning_**

There is a fly flying into the compter's screen right now. It must be suicidal or attracted to the light. Each bump echoes a faint 'tink' sort of sound.

Well, whatever… The kamikaze bug is dead now. I killed it.

I'm not in a very good mood right now… This has nothing to do with getting kicked off the quidditch team, though. I must admit I am a little relieved that have been kicked off. I wouldn't have to lose anymore games and I wouldn't have to fear for my well-being in the locker rooms. My mood has to do more with the fact that I cannot even wander outside without being bombarded with questions.

Last night I went outside to my favorite tree… Yes I, the evil and emotionless Draco Malfoy, like to sit under a favorite tree at night and write poems. I like hearing all of the chirruping crickets; it is very peaceful for the mind. Try it sometime; it would do you a world of good I'm sure.

So there I was, sitting under my tree and listening to the peaceful night sounds when suddenly the crickets stopped chirruping. Someone was approaching me. Now you probably understand that basically all of the student body hates me, so it was in my best interest to defend myself- so I pulled out my wand and tried to think of a good curse. I glued myself to the side of the tree, hoping the person wouldn't see me and waited. I was hoping they would wander off somewhere else, but no. They sat at the opposite end of my tree, not five feet away from me. I almost wanted to scream right then, how dare this person sit at my tree and cause the peaceful crickets to stop singing! But, I didn't do anything. I just sat, and waited.

I didn't have to wait long. They started talking to themselves, but they were mumbling and I could only understand a few words. It was a boy. They seemed almost on the edge of tears… Almost.

I don't like being around people when they are all emotional and stuff- like this boy was doing, so I was becoming uncomfortable. I decided to quietly walk away.

I forgot that I had wrapped my coat around my legs for warmth, and tripped over my own feet. Needless to say my head hit something hard and bruising and I yelped. Yes, I yelped... The boy heard me, and called out, "Who's there?!"

I was in for it now. I jumped up and started to run, coat in hand. There was the sound of feet charging after me, and I thought I was faster then them, but I was wrong. I almost fell again when this person grabbed my coat, but I let it go and ran towards the castle. Luckily I got in with enough time to spare so I could hide under some of the curtains hanging from one of the windows. The mysterious person never came back in. I waited half and hour and there was still o sign of them, so I went to bed.

Thanks to this mystery person I now have a gash on my cheek, which will surely scar, and a missing coat. That coat cost nearly fifty galleons! And I have a gash on my face! I will have a scar!

On another note, I am pretty sure why everyone hates me.

Most every Slytherin now knows of my un-allegiance to The Dark Lord, and they all look down on me. They have probably all told their parents and my parents will find out. How soon, I won't guess. They all think I am being a royal git, which in a way is true- revenge is a dish best served cold. I like cold food.

Also: Tuesday is the start of my turn in the bet with Potter. Joy.

-DM

Mood: irritated

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	10. Entry 10

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

**-----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Tuesday September 9**

**_Evening_**

Early this morning in lunch I got an owl from my Mother. Apparently word has reached her that I have been disloyal to the family honor or some other load of crap. I guess I will owl her tonight, maybe I'll tell her about my scar… Then she will most likely be appalled and order me to have it removed. I will then be forced, by my own free will of course, to ignore her instructions and keep it. I actually rather like it. This is the first time I have dedicated a paragraph to talking about a scar. Grand…

I have a strange feeling that some of the Slytherins are planning to try and ruin my pride somehow… I've often walked into the common room (don't even ask how I can still bear it) and have seen the gorillas sitting on the floor and writing in some notebook. To an outsider it simply seems as if they are finishing up an assignment, but I know better then that. The gorillas have never done any homework by themselves without someone's help or servitude. So unless they have miraculously discovered the other side of their brains, it is highly likely they are planning something against me.

I am still taking up residence in my broom closet, as it seems Professor Snape has not bothered to inquire if I could have my room changed. The house elves have apparently found out about my new room, for my lunch and dinner are now delivered to my broom closet. I never see who really delivers them, though, as they are always there on a silver platter when I get back from my lessons.

In Potions today I passed Potter a note asking for my coat back –politely- and we agreed to meet up after class. He seemed very angry when I stepped out of the door, and seemed intent upon the idea that I had followed him outside. I blatantly explained why I was out there, and well… The ending of our little meeting still has me confused…

My turn in the bet also started today. I didn't do much, as I am leaving the best parts for last. Here is all that I have done today:

_1.) Potter now addresses me as Master Malfoy, The One, or God._

_2.) Each morning (for the next three days) Potter will bring my meal to me, a copy of The Profit, and shine my shoes._

_3.) Potter will wear the ugly scratchy coat whenever he is outside, no matter how warm it is._

-DM

Mood: enthralled

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.

A/N: Damn and all it's godforsaken erors! They are making me so pissed... Let's just hope this chapter loads correctly (for once) so you can read my p'd off note. XD


	11. Entry 11

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Wednesday September 10**

**_Late late late evening_**

I know what it is. I'm not crazy after all, I'm just myself. More of myself then I thought I had known previously. I'm sure you have all read Potter's journal and have all heard what happened. I just had to make an arse of myself to realize it.

There is only one thing I must do, and that is not tell Mother. I used to think she would understand me, but this? No, she would never understand this.

My urges. Urges for a friendship?

Maybe something still is wrong with me, but no one is perfect. I shouldn't worry. I won't worry. I mean, why should I worry? I've never wanted this before. Is it that hard for me to understand?

I'm hopeless. That's what it is. It took me this long to realize it. Sad isn't it?

No. I mustn't worry. Nothing is wrong with me. Nothing at all. I just have a new to-do list is all, that's it. Wait. That didn't sound right at all. Why am I so worried?

I shouldn't worry. I don't need to worry. I never worry. Malfoy's never have worries. I don't need this!

I need a drink.

I need to talk, but I'd scare him. Oh I know I would… Ugh, calm down Draco… I need, what do the muggles call them? I need a psychiatrist. Yes. That would solve this needy phase I seem to be going through.

Ahhh, firewhiskey does sooth the soul. Just like it says on the side of the bottle. Big gold letters: SOOTHES THE SOUL! Why haven't I noticed this before?

There are lots of things I haven't noticed before. My room never gets any light. Why? It's a closet. I know absolutely nothing about potions anymore, and yet I pass. Why? Professor Snape is a suck-up to my family. Father must pay him. There is incest in my family line. I never knew this! Why? I never cared. Everyone except me has known this! I can't believe it. I'm diseased.

I must slow down… I must loom quite red in the face as some of my housemates are staring at me. But they look expectant? Perhaps they think I am dying. They all want me to die. Everyone wants me to die? No. I don't want me to die…?

I would want a plain stone. Just stone. No words. I wouldn't want any mourners to remember me. They would storm my grave, take out my corpse, burn it even. A plain grave would do.

Haha they would burn my corpse! Who does that nowadays? Corpse burners, that's who! I've never known one. They have a society? The secret society of the official corpse burners!

It would smell. They must smell. Their poor wives! Husbands also! Their houses must smell. House elves burn corpses. They smell. That man… Hairy man… Hagrid burns them! He smells. They all smell.

Stone would do nicely.

Would I have stalkers?

I do now. I see him, that boy. What's his name? I can't remember… He is looking at me. Expectantly.

What am I just going to KEEL OVER! Like a fish!

Ha! Fish! I'm allergic to fish! I would die! Aha, so he does want me dead, that staring boy. Looking. He looked away. I smiled at him and he walked away. Bye boy.

And, what was I talking about? I can't remember? Urges? I was talking about urges…?

Would Potter make a good friend? My friend? I want a friend.

**Would I could I Potter my 378dgergb v**

**((Author's Explanation for the above: Just so you know, after reading this, Draco is not going crazy. He is merely drunk.The last bit at the end of this entry, the garbled words. Well that is just Draco's head hitting the keyboard when he passed out. I guess his head hit enter, and the journal entry was entered.))**

Mood: drunk

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	12. Entry 12

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Thurday**** September 11**

**_I am dying… Morning_**

I am dying. And if I do not die, I will be murdered and most likely tortured to death by wiffle balls buttered with lemon sherbet ice cream.

Well, to explain further so that you would be able to understand, I would have to tell you what I did last night. To put it simple I made a complete and total arse of myself. I have been called a berk more times then I care to remember, this morning.

My head feel like it is about to spill my brains on the floor any second, and yet I receive no sympathy from my fellow classmates or teachers. I am still expected to go to all of my classes.

I am not ashamed to say it, but the only other experience I have had with alcohol was at my Cousin's wedding. I had a sip of wine. Last night I somehow managed to consume five cans of Bertie Botts Ever-changing Beer and still managed to remain conscious. This is not necessarily a good thing.

I have a hand print on my stomach, and I don't know how it got there. All I know is it isn't my handprint. My usually soul-searing eyes are now bloodshot and I look like a nutter.

I fear I may have taken a stroll or two around the castle last night, for I was approached earlier by a male Ravenclaw who promptly told me to "never try that again," whatever 'that' was I fear to ask…

The last thing I remember was lying on a couch (I don't know where) and staring at the pillow. The pillow was black velvet. I had been staring at it because it was shiny and was catching the light.

This morning I woke up outside and under my tree. I was shivering and covered with dew, and there were a pair of shoeprints leading away from me. I know this because the grass was tall enough to still be able to see the indentations of steps taken. They weren't my footprints.

I know something happened last night, and there will probably be embarrassing pictures of my… non-thinking self… But I personally don't care.

Yes, that's right. I, Draco –insert outrageous middle name- Malfoy, from henceforth, do not care what anyone thinks of me. My true side will show through! Or at least make brief appearances… when I feel like it of course.

I need to (yes once again) tell Mother about this. This time, though, I will try and take charge of the conversation so she will let me talk about the topics I wish to discuss with her. I am so confused I just feel like I need want someone to talk with… Has anyone ever felt like that before? Like something is so wrong and yet it is just so right? But I have no one to talk with about this. No one. I am, of course, not saying I wouldn't talk to any of my commentors about myself; it's just that I need a face-to-face sort of talk…

Now, off of that subject (whatever it may be) and onto new happenings. My owl is being watched. Every letter I receive has it's seal broken. I wonder why anyone would even feel the need to spy on me… It's not like I am receiving 'top secret' orders from the Dark Lord… Oh… I have forgotten about that…

Some may call me a coward, but I am only looking out for my well-being. I have been summoned to attend a meeting held by some of the most prestigious people in my Father's crowd during October break. You may have guessed what I am talking about… If I refuse, I die. This is the reason I must go through with it, even if it binds me to the big wanker, I must go through with it. There is no other way out.

-DM

Mood: nauseated

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	13. Entry 13

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Thursday September 11**

**_Night_**

Damn him… Damn him to hell! I didn't even think he really knew about… But it is a bit obvious now and… DAMN HIM DAMN HIM DAMN DAMDNAMDNDMDNSMDND….

I am so fucking mad and why? Why did he have to do that of all things I mean… I am so damn confused and it's all because of him and his STUPID LITTLE GAMES! WHAT WAS HE THINKING? Does he think he can play with my head and make me… want…

No. I am not going to resort to that. Never. I am a Malfoy- and Malfoys do not resort to that…

Yes well…

This is what you all wanted isn't it? You just all knew I would become so… so… horribly mad and angry and excited… What is the use? I can't fight you people… Making me do this, aren't you?

Should I just drink again? Yes, that would help wouldn't it?

Yes… it would…

But now I'm forgetting what happened, now aren't I? Yes, well I did become quite curious as to what exactly I did when I was drunk to make that boy (what was his house?) so mad at me… You should have seen him- all red in the face- ha how I laugh…

It seems the Dark Lord isn't too picky about his supporters nowadays.

But none of you fools care about that- now do you? No… You never do… It's always: "Oh lovely sexy Draco- what did you do with Potter today?" or even "Oh lovely Draco (whom I adore) I know a few things you could do for Potter!" I was too… naïve to even think you were really talking about… Why would you think that?

I would never ever help Potter with his homework you buffoons! Though he is quite dumb- I would never help him with his homework. And of course that is what you all meant… I mean what else could you lot be thinking of?

Ugh… I will post later when I am more… up to it.

-DM

Mood: confused

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.


	14. Entry 14

**Rating:** Light R  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

** -----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Friday September 12**

I have been thinking lately about a lot of things that are happening. To tell you the truth, I don't know what to say… Really I don't.

There shall be no drinking for me anymore- so don't worry about that. I don't exactly know why I said that in my last post…

Actually I don't know what to say anymore. Everything seems to be turning out wrong.

I am supposed to join the Dark Lord's forces, I am supposed to drop out of school so there isn't any suspicion as to why I am leaving, I am supposed to keep the Malfoy blood flowing for another hundred generations, I am supposed to let other people run my life… But what about what I want to do? What about me? Phfft… No one cares about the evil self-loving conceited son-of-a-bitch now do they?

Now I'm just whining, and Merlin knows that has never accomplished anything besides sounding like a brat. "Stop sniveling and act like a Malfoy!" Father used to say… Good advice Father- too bad you didn't follow it.

Yes, that is right. My own Father didn't follow his damned advice. You should have seen him the night he was taken into prison…

I walked into his study to find him crying at his desk. He grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me up to him, "Don't let them take me, son! Whatever you do, don't let them take your Father away! Kill them! Just tell them anything just… Tell them to take you instead!" By then I had already ran out of his study and up into my room.

And Mother! Ha, you should have seen her! You would have thought she cared about the Father of her only son, but she didn't give a damn! She let The Ministry Aurors in –no questions asked- and told where Father was. She even offered to take them there- which they ignored.

But why am I telling you this? Why would you care about me, the bastard who is selling his soul to the devil in return for hundreds of innocent lives? Why should you bother to care about him? He's just a cold hearted idiot who doesn't give a damn about anyone else- isn't he?

Self-loathing is not a good feeling… I should just give up, shouldn't I? If I don't, then that is sure death. A hero's death- yes… But am I really of the hero-make?

Perhaps I should just run away- move to Australia or somewhere far away from my world… But I surely wouldn't know how to survive. I've never actually seen a real telephone except in books and on the telly. I have not a speck of knowledge as to what in the name of Merlin a vacuum is… Could I really survive?

Everyone seems to want to talk to me all of a sudden. Just this morning I received an owl from the Headmaster to meet him in his office in five minutes- which I did. I was seated in front of him (his desk is rather imposing) and there was silence. He didn't say a word, I had to break the silence, which I promptly replied with a, "Is there anything wrong Mr. Malfoy?"

Damn him… What does he think? That the world is all fine and dandy where every witch and wizard will live happily ever after amidst rainbows and cute button-nosed leprechauns? Ye Gods…

I shouldn't even start on my other problem- the one some people feel that I need to address. Yes, you know what I'm talking about… Potter. The bastard… What do you expect me to say? "Oh wittle innocent Potter- with your green eyes and godforsaken hair!"

Apologies, for all I am accomplishing right now is lashing out at you. I am acting very immaturely…

Let me continue in a more… delicate manner…

Yes I do admit that I think Potter looks good in leather pants. Particularly my leather pants (no pun intended). Yes I find his eyes beautiful and his laughter enchanting BUT does that really mean anything in the grand scheme of things?

I have a little tiny probably lust driven crush. That is all. And don't try and raise my spirits with a "But Potter LOVES you! Don't you see?!" Ha, I'm sure he doesn't even regard me as a friend let alone 'love' me. Love is too big a word for this is but a small little crush.

Now onto more pressing matters. The meeting- the initiation per-say- that I am obligated to attend is being held on October the second, which is a Saturday. I have yet to make up my mind as to what exactly I will do. I do feel the need to talk with someone- but I just have never felt all that comfortable around the Headmaster- which is why I will not talk with him. Professor Snape seems my only other choice, and I don't even feel all that comfortable around him either.

I know a few have suggested I talk with Potter, but really? What could he do besides give me a pat on the back and a sorry?

I could always just take the cowardly way out and kill myself. But I won't. I could never really bring myself to do that- even if I am sure to die. I would rather die by someone else's hand then my own to be blunt.

Ah yes, I never really explained about that Ravenclaw, now did I? Apparently (when I was drunk) I had been talking quite loudly about the Dark Lord (and in an atrocious way, mind you). Well this Ravenclaw boy (I don't even know his real name) is in cahoots with the Dark Lord and was enraged at what I was doing. That is all that happened… I suppose I will see him at the initiation, eh? Well, if I choose to go…

I think I have addressed everything that needs to be addressed. Well… Besides the fact that Potter hasn't helped my bed sheets stay any cleaner- all is well. Or as well as it can be in this situation.

-DM

Mood: restless

* * *

Well, for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.

The Draco in me would like to make a brief appearance and share a few well-chosen words: _Gag…. I sound like a whiny prat…_


	15. Entry 15

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

**-----------------------------**

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake._Remove__ some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Sunday- September 14**

**Night**

Alright- so I finally did it. I talked with Potter, but not about what I said I would... It first began to unravel (my courage that is) when he walked up to me- all sweaty from playing quidditch with a few people- so you can imagine my usually solemn composure was being shoved out of the window right then. All I can truly hope for is that I wasn't blushing, but at least I never stuttered. I do admit- though I'm not above blushing- I am above stuttering.

Back to my horrid conversation (if you could even call it that). It did start out better then I had originally thought it would, as the conversation ironically started out with the weather conditions. (What is it about the weather that makes it such a good conversation starter? Is it because it's always there no matter what- and everyone knows about it?) But then the conversation somehow got into the topic of his and Ginny's awkward problem(s). I really do hate talking to other people about my let alone their relationships, and so I blurted out something stupid to change the conversation to a different tone. Anyone want to have a go at what I asked? I asked Potter if he fancies poetry. Ugh _–mentally smacks forehead-_ why did I have to ask _that_ of all things?

He didn't really answer, though. (He does know what poetry is, doesn't he?) Ah well, I'm only happy he left or rather I left soon after that… Said he had to talk to muggle friend of his… erm… Hermione I think is her name.

Now that I think about it, we did talk about that wretched Halloween Ball- and when he found out I wasn't planning on going he asked me if I would. Made me feel all giddy fr a split second till I realized he didn't mean anything by it. But a bloke's allowed to daydream, isn't he? It's not like I daydream though- I'm above that of course- it's just that… well…

When he told me I should go I replied with a hesitant 'maybe' and he grinned (dimples!), but that still doesn't mean anything.

I hope he doesn't think me weird as he was looking at me quite oddly and…

No! I will not do this, this thing that those hormonal girls do! I simply will not fill up my journal with hopes and dreams of him and… Ugh, but it's already been done… I've already devoted five paragraphs to _him_ … Alright, changing gears now…

I think it's still safe to say that I still enjoy all the attention I've been getting lately, without sounding _too_obnoxious of course.

Now I only have to talk with Potter about what I really wanted to talk about... After that: Dumbledore...

-DM

Mood: dorky

* * *

**Alright, I apologize for the lack of reviewer niceness (i.e. I never acknowledged your reviews in this fic till now :O) But believe me, I didn't do it all that much on purpose- it's just that I had all the chapters already loaded (up until this point) and I just was way too lazy to reply… But I will now XD**

Thank-you all:

Majin-koz- Yup, aren't you just so proud of him? :D

Helen- Well there sort of was, but believe me, he'll get talking about that topic soon. And in detail XD

Starrarose- True, true

winky-wink- Danke (it's German for Thank-you BTW)

duchesscarml- Are you talking to moi or the Draco-person-stuck-in-my-head?

slashing-leo- Nope, they are the same as these one's. Except of course I leave the comments out, but I never really give anything away in those :) And thank-you for your interest in my fics. I'm ecstatic you like them, as I also love your fics XD

Beloved- I know, but he will stop being a whiner soon… maybe… Muahahaha you'll see soon enough what becomes of him

heHomicidalManiac777- Heh, maybe that's cause I just added it? Well, glad to see you (oh so loyal a reviewer) like it XD

Majin-koz- Hmmm… I shall keep that in mind. It does have a nice ring to it :)

Anny Pervert Snape- I hope this was soon enough :D

Bravella- Danke (German for thank-you BTW)

Kelby The Slytherdor- Glad you liked it! XD

Flammy- elm? Erm… what?

**Ah yes, before I forget, the Harry chapter shall be coming out tomorrow. I promise XD**


	16. Entry 16

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake. _Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

**Saturday- September 15**

**Early Morning**

I'm very annoyed right now. I just finished having a bit of a... Disagreement with one of those scum-of-the-net girls that decided to invade Potters journal. I don't see how he puts up with it- al that spamming and people throwing themselves at his feet... But I'm not jealous, not in the least. I have plenty of willing people throwing themselves at me as well. Potter has more of course, as he is the one that danced and all...

Now that I think about it, I never really gave my thoughts on the matter. I mean I was obviously royally pissed off that he did that, toyed with me, but I never said what I felt. I suppose you all would like to know the bitter truth, eh? Actually, more sweet then bitter. Now I'm hungry. Damn you people- making me relate lapdances to sweetness...

But I also have another little secret. This morning I was politely pulled aside by a certain 'someone' who shall remain nameless for now. They asked to speak with me later tomorrow night. And no it wasn't Harry, if it was I would be a lot more esctatic. Do I seem esctatic right now? No, I'm not. I'm only mildly interested as to why this particular person wants to speak with me... Guess who it is yet? Ha, as if I'd tell you.

Right now I know most of you just want to murder me in cold blood. Don't worry though, death threats won't make me tell you who this mystery visitor was. All I know about there request is that it is to be held in the Southern Spire overlooking the Quidditch Pitch. I won't tell you what time, though, as I know some of you will probably try and snoop around... Who knows who reads this journal anyway...

Speaking of journals, isn't it a wonder Potter hasn't checked mine out yet? I'm scared he will and yet... I think I want him to. I like the dangerous side of things I suppose... Not many do, or at least not many people I know do.

Alright, it's time to get on with it. About that infamous lapdance... Yes I did enjoy it. Yes I was pissed off at Potter. Yes I did pick that song, but only because I wanted to embarrass him. No I did not know he could actually dance.

I must talk with that damned boy again. He is like a damn cold or something... I don't want to think about him and yet he is always there in the back of my mind and... It's the hormones I keep telling myself. Tis only the hormones Draco, it's just a lust driven urge you feel. But I can't stop thinking -still- that this seems different. I do admit, I have been with other... God I can't say it... What if someone reads this journal whom I think of as an enemy? Or what if someone from my house read this? Merlin... Everyday I think of him and yet it seems so different from the other... People I had... I'm such a fricken scared closet case... Open the damn doorknob you wanker and face reality! Ha, like it's that easy. Everything feels and looks different in writing.

Right. Well, I got a trifle sidetracked there. I have to talk with Potter. This can't go on any longer. He is killing what will I have left to act normal... Or as normal as normal truly is... I think I'm going to break into Gryffindor tower and ravish him by moonlight. Ah, my sick fantasies... I suppose I could just say it, er write it if you want to be technical, right now. I like men.

Merlin be damned I said it. I feel so damn relieved right now... I have to go to sleep, it's so early in the morning I don't know how I'll function tomorrow...

I left sufficent evidence as to who my mystery visitor was- figure it out yourselves.

DM

* * *

This entry is for Harry's earlier entry (number 17)... I hope you all still can forgive me for being an ass as I am terribly sorry about the lateness of the update. I haven't forgotten any of you :) The next entry for Mr. Malfoy shall arrive shortly. I'm strongly tempted to have the Draco in my head answer the reviews once in a while... Hmmm...

Thanks and mcuh love:

fifespice- He will, but I won't say when. He is going to be very erm... surprised... Thanks!

Tainted13Innocence- Heh, thanks. Glad you like it and find it funny :D

Silverone3- Thank-you m'dear

duchesscarml- I have issues? Hmm, and I just thought I was crazy ;) and thank-you, glad you like it.

Bongo MonkeysXP- Heh, seems you have...

padfoot7085- Alas, but he is...

Snaped- Thanks! It's quite hard to make Draco like Harry and make it seem realistic to his character... I think he's a tad grumpy in this entry, though.

Anny Pervert Snape- Thank-you :D

Starrarose- Draco would like to take your advice, but -gasp- he is a bit shy. Damn him. I want some slash, too! Ah, well, must make this seem realistic (tis bothersome without the monkey sex, but oh well...) Thanks :)


	17. Entry 17

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake. _Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Sunday- September 16**

**Night**

I know most of you have figured it out, but the person who pulled me aside yesterday was none other then Granger. (Yes, that girl I called mudblood quite a few times.) I was wary at first, but my curiosity as to why the hell she wanted to speak to me overruled my initial judgment. If you counted every word in our brief meetings they wouldn't even constitute as a whole paragraph. So you see, I hardly knew the girl.

So I met her at the proper time, at the southern spire overlooking the quidditch pitch at precisely 10:05. She was a tad pissed off that I was five minutes late, but I was pleasant enough to her so that she has probably forgiven me by now. If any of you little heathens think she invited me up there on some sort of date- you are terribly wrong. Not even I thought it was a romantic sort of meeting- which it wasn't.

Anyway, I finished walking up the stairs (more then twelve flights of them!) and came upon a bare landing. Before me was a door, which I naturally opened. Inside the room was a small table, and sitting at the table was none other then Granger. She was alone, which was a bit surprising to me at the time, as I thought she was afraid of me.

Right off she told me that she had read my journal up to it's current entry. Merlin you won't believe how my pulse started to suddenly race when she said that- I only hope I didn't blush. She did assure me, though, that no one else she knew had read it before. I hope she's right. Maybe I should use that friends-only feature... And what really got me was she wasn't surprised that I was gay. Am I really that obvious? I mean with the whole twelve girlfriends a month thing I thought I hid it quite well.

Granger told me that she believes I would be seen by Potter as a nicer and definitely more trustworthy person if I went through with the initiation (aka getting the darkmark). How is this so, you ask. Well, she hinted I could be a spy for Dumbledore and his order. I believe she said Order of the Phoenix, but that is a rather stupid name so I doubt that's it's true name. It's probably just some sort of an alias.

I never agreed though, I basically just listened and nodded. I told her I would have to think about it. But she came well prepared, I must admit. As soon as I said the "I'll think about it" part she came right back with a "And I could put in a kind word or two to Harry about you." I give her credit, she does know how to deal with a Malfoy.

I agreed to meet her next Thursday- same place same time as we didn't get to talk very long as she had to tutor someone in some sort of subject...

Ugh, but now I'm full of dread. Sure talking about the initiation makes it seem less worse then it really is. Now that I think about it, though, I really don't know what possessed me to even think about going through with it. I do not want to do it, I would loathe myself if I did it, and yet... I need to think about this. I don't want to think of it anymore... Later I will, but not now...

I finally met that Ben person Potter has mentioned. We didn't get along so well; I think the child may even hate me.

I saw him reading a poster in the hallway, and I said a friendly "Hullo" to him. He turned around, looked shocked, glared, and then walked away. How rude. At least I have the decency to actually even speak to people I hate. Well, OK, so what if I usually yell at people I loathe, at least I say something instead of glaring like some sort of angry mute...

I've been doing a lot of thinking on how to approach my Potter problem. I don't think he thinks of me as a friend just yet- more of an acquaintance you talk to a lot on the computer... But I don't even talk to him all that much on the computer either... And I don't know how to get him alone, to talk with him, as he is always in his common room or talking to a group of people.

DM

* * *

I hope this entry didn't come to late, and I hope you all liked it. Hermione is going to become in important link in the story. 

Thanks and mcuh love:

duchesscarml- Crazy? Moi? Never :D...

Quicksilver foxx- Harry won't read Draco's journal... for now...

fifespice- Perhaps.

Gryffindorgrl86- Hope the answer was surprising.

Anny Pervert Snape- It didn't send an alert? Goddamn 'Nother cookie is coming very soon m'dear, soon as in Harry's next journal entry. And I suppose I could stick in another AIM conversation just for the heck of it- those are fun to write anyway.

Starrarose- Why didn't anyone get an alert? Damn Curse them... I like the shy Draco, too.


	18. Entry 18 and a cookie

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake. _Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Monday- September 17**

**Afternoon**

I think I have massive problems relating to other people. Or perhaps I am just very greedy and self-absorbed? But surely I am not a self-absorbed peacock like that man... what was his name... Lockehart I believe it was? His whole room was filled with pictures of himself- he must have had five hundred. I only have five. So I'm not self absorbed? Perhaps I'm just a spoiled git who is used to getting everything he wants?

No. The spoiled part is wrong. I'm not spoiled, just because my family is extremely wealthy (for some reason I haven't bothered to question), doesn't mean I'm spoiled.

Oh to hell with this. I still worry over what people think of me, foolish as that may sound. But as a wise man once said to me, if you´re holding out for universal popularity, you´re going to be here a long time.

I should stop it right now, I must sound like a... what are they called? Dammit, I need to get out more. (And in the daylight preferably.)

OK, new topic. I'm done with the angsty portion of my thoughts. Time to move on to the Potter strike lust-filled /strike section.

I was just in Potter's journal, and left him a message asking when he gets out of his meeting with the Headmaster. I plan to meet him when he gets out and take I little walk with him. I plan to discuss a few... things with him... But, then again, those things may not even be discussed if my courage doesn't come back. Yes, you've read my last statement correctly. My courage is indeed on hiatus, perhaps permanently. And meanwhile I am making a fool of myself doing all sorts of embarrassing things. I could give you examples, but I'm not in the mood to laugh at myself.

Apparently I still have some of my Malfoy breeding still left in me, for this very morning I was approached by a blushing Hufflepuff whom I will not describe. (I don't want to embarrass the bloke) But anyway, he told me that he liked my eyes (eyes! EYES! What about arse?) and would I care to become better acquainted with him. strike Better acquainted with his bed sheets was more like it... /strike I really don't like becoming involved with people that I have just met, though I once used to, so I politely smirked and told him to stick his delightfully attractive head up his arse. Oh, how I do pride myself on never losing my cool.

See there? I just lied. I do lose my cool, I just tend not to show it. Even when I'm planning the death of the wretched person I'm talking to, I never show it.

Perhaps I should work less on not losing my cool and more on not acting like a spiled git. I've been called a git many times, more the I care to remember, but I just never thought about it before. I never stopped to think about why these people are calling me this, why do they think this. Or maybe I just got my kicks out of tormenting people, which is extremley stupid and amounts to nothing in the long run. I don't want to sound like a hypocrite, but sometimes (especially when I've had a particularly bad day) I tend to be an absolute bastard to everyone and everything. Myabe I should to work on that...

Merlin... I am now overjoyed that Potter answered me. I am now acting like a loon. Where has my testosterone gone? What I should be doing is looking smug and winking at everything that walks by with an arse, but I'm not. I'm simply ecstatic that a boy, not even an extremely attractive boy, has answered my post. So I now answer with a sarcastic remark about flowers. What I should be doing, if my hormones didn't choose to visit Bangladesh with my also absent courage, is stating exactly why I want to meet him. But I didn't. I'm not a bloke anymore, I'm some sort of giggling creature with pale skin and 'supposedly' attractive eyes.

Apologies, but I must leave now before I embarrass myself further and start typing rhymes.

DM

p.s.  
Tomorrow I will return,  
giggling no more,  
My cheeks shan't burn,  
With my lack of concern,  
Towards my masculinity.

p.p.s.Oh Merlin what am I doing...

**

* * *

HERE IS THE COOKIE! Hope you like XD**

* * *

I had been waiting for an hour already for that damn boy. I still didn't know why I had waited this long, but I was getting ready to leave. Maybe Potter never went to Dumbledore's at all. 

The small flower I had been clutching in my fist for little over an hour was starting to wilt. I didn't know what a daisy was, so I just picked the first white flower I saw. Now that I think about, it's still a bit absurd that I, Draco Malfoy, went flower picking. But I guess I just couldn't resist.

These days, it doesn't seem like I can resist much at all.

With a sigh I sat on the floor, legs folded in front of me. The stone floor would make my arse turn numb, but I didn't care. Where the hell is Potter?

Before I left I had just finished replying to Potter's journal, and amazingly I was still feeling the momentary high that always seems to come when I talk/type to Potter. Not the best time to meet him I admit, as a giddy Malfoy is never able to keep their composure for long.

After about twenty minutes the gargoyles suddenly sprang apart, and a winding staircase came into view. My heart leapt up somewhere in my throat and I watched, wide eyed, for any sign of Potter. And as a pair of beat up shoes came into view I quickly wiped away the smile that had been slowly spreading, and replaced it with a smirk.

"Potter?" I questioned.

But there was no need, for he then came into view. He nodded my way, and walked towards me. I slowly stood up, my arse complaining about what I put it through, and said, "Want to go outside?"

He looked at me for a moment, eyes questioning, "Sure."

It was then I remembered the flower. I opened my hand, it looked quite small lying there against my palm. There was a speck of dirt on one of the white petals, and a few of them were crushed. But I could still smell the slightly sweet smell that had been with the flower when I had first picked it.

"I brought you a flower." I said as I held it out to him, "There weren't any daises in Hogwarts so I brought you the next best thing."

"What happened to you bringing me a bouquet?" he joked, a smile slowly spreading.

"It wasn't worth it." I smiled, his smiled were infectious, "I don't spend money on other people."

"What? Not even me?" he gasped, and placed his hand upon his shirt, just over his heart.

I stared at his fingers as they lay against his chest. He bites his nails? I thought only people did that when they were nervous, and surely Potter never got nervous.

He looked a little sad that I hadn't played along, "So... Um... Do you wanna go now?"

"Yeah." I said with a small nod, and we made our way towards the main staircase. Our footsteps echoed along the walls as we walked side by side. The whole school seemed to be empty, which wasn't very strange at this time of day since everyone was probably outside enjoying what warmth the weather could spare.

"What did the Headmaster want to see you for?" I said, trying to strike up a friendly conversation.

"Oh, you know, the usual stuff." Potter said with a shrug, "He wanted an autograph for his niece."

"Well, you must have quite a large ego, "I said, "to take a whole hour to sign something."

He laughed at that, "Would you like an autograph, Malfoy?"

Oh. So we are still on last name status.

"Sorry, but I'm afraid I don't have an hour to spare."I sighed.

"Doing evil stuff in your spare time, then?" he said with a small grin as we started to walk down a staircase.

"It depends on what you mean by evil." I said, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. Is he trying to get at something?

"Well... Uh..." it looked like he didn't know what to say, so I decided to help him along.

"Oh, do you mean things like torturing muggles, spreading the news about the Dark Lord, and parading around in front of a campfire wearing a very large black cloak? That sort of stuff?"

He looked at me, his eyes a bit wide with shock. He actually believed me? Merlin, some people are gullible.

"You don't worry, I don't do that stuff-"

"Oh, well that's good." he said sounding relieved.

"I only do it on weekends."

"Malfoy!"

"Kidding, I'm kidding.

"Oh..." he still didn't look convinced.

We had reached the bottom of the staircase, and I turned to face him with my arms crossed. "I am not interested in following in my family's footsteps, unlikely as that may seem. I have not, nor will I ever pledge my allegiance to anyone. If you don't believe me, then you can just walk away right now and I'll act like this never happened."

He looked at his beaten shoes, back at me, back at the shoes. I was yelling at him, in my mind, to stop being a fool and just believe me. It appeared to work.

"Alright." he said looking at me, "I sort of believe you, I hope that's good enough."

I nodded and started to walk towards the main doors, but a screech stopped me in my tracks. My head whipped around as I saw my worst nightmare bearing down upon us.

"Shit." Harry said quite clearly.

"Indeed." I said, both of our eyes wide with fear.

A herd of about five female Hogwarts students was stampeding towards us.

"HARRY POTTER! I LOVE YOU!" screamed one of the girls in. "IT'S REALLY HIM!" screamed another. "WHO'S YOUR FRIEND HARRY? HE'S FIT, HE IS!"

"This isn't good..." Harry mumbled.

"You've got that right," I said with a sigh, "they don't even know who I am."

"No you idiot," Harry said looking at me in a mixture of disbelief and fear, "RUN!" And with that he grabbed my hand, and we both started running towards the stairs. I had no clue where we were going, but evidently Harry did, as he was the one pulling me along. Breathless, we made it to the second floor. I could hear the pounding of woman's shoes behind us.

"Where are we going?" I yelled as he pulled me into an unknown corridor.

"Shut up!" Harry yelled as he dragged me along, "Try and go faster!"

I mumbled something explicit, but speeded up my pace. So this is how Potter got his exercise.

Suddenly he pulled to a stop right next to a portrait. Quickly he squished his fingers underneath it, in an effort to pry it off the wall. Amazingly, with what seemed like little effort, it swung smoothly off the wall to reveal a hidden room slightly bigger then my closet turned bedroom. He pushed me in, and then went in himself as he closed the portrait behind us.

Silence, except for the deep breaths both Potter and I were taking.

"How did you-" I was about to say, but Potter slapped his hand over my mouth.

"Dammit Malfoy, shut the fuck up!" he hissed.

With his warm hand against my mouth I could only nod. How I wished it would stay there.

The seconds crept by, and then the pounding feet of the predatory mob could be heard. Then there was silence. It sounded like they had stopped just in front of the portrait we were currently hidden behind. Confused female voices broke the silence; they seemed to be discussing what to do. After a few minutes the talking died down and the sound of retreating feet could be heard.

Potter waited a few minutes more, and then took his hand off my mouth.

"Alright, I think they are gone." he whispered, and I heard more then saw him step away from me.

"What the hell was that?" I whispered.

"What was what?"

"Those girls."

"Oh... that." I could imagine the blush was probably starting to appear, "They are um... A few of my more spirited fans."

"Have they ever caught you?" I asked

"No, why would I let them? There's no telling what they would do to me."

"Oh I could imagine a few things..."

A few minutes of awkward silence followed.

"So... Do you think it's safe to return to the light of day?" I said as I moved in the general direction of the opening.

"I guess." Potter said, and then our small space was flooded with light as he opened the portrait.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" I asked.

"Uh." he glanced down at his wrist watch, "2:45."

"Shit!" I said as I remembered I had a class to go to.

"What?"

"I have to go somewhere..." I said and started to walk away, but then turned to face him, "Tuesday. Same time, same place?"

"Wha?"

"Tuesday Potter." I sighed, "It's my only day I have the whole afternoon free.

"Oh... uh..." he hesitated, and then smiled at me, "Sure I guess."

I didn't wait for a good-bye, I immediately turned around and walked towards the end of the hallway. I let myself smile, and turned to look back. He was still watching me.

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed this. This was one of the funnest entries I've written. 

fifespice- Harry will, but later.

The Last True Black- Thanks, Draco's LJ is somtimes extremley fun to write, as he sort of thinks like me.

Silverone3- Thank-you XD

duchesscarml- An entire cast? Geez, and I thought I had problems :D

Bongo MonkeysXP- He's still very confused.

padfoot7085- Indeed he does.

Aeronwen- Thanks, it's quite hard to make Draco a snarky bastard and still loveable at the same time.

Anny Pervert Snape- Heh, sorry for my extreme late-ness...

Starrarose- Thanks XD


	19. Entry 19

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake. _Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)

* * *

_

**Tuesday- September 18**

I was in a cheery mood today, and that is my only excuse for what happened.

Most of the responses to my last entry seemed to all agree on one thing: That I was acting quite the git when I insulted that Hufflepuff bloke. So, in my cheery mood that also seemed to lay upon me a guilty feeling, I approached the Huffelpuff and apologized to him. And so he asked if I would like to catch a bite to eat sometime and, because I was feeling pleased with myself, I agreed.

And now that I am in a sane mood I wonder what in the name of Merlin was I thinking.

Did I agree to go on a date, or merely an afternoon tryst? But now that I think about, tryst does have more then one meaning. Perhaps this is a meeting between lovers? Pfft, I think not. So surely this is simply a meeting that has been agreed upon by both sides? Yes, surely it is.

Alright, before I get into a heated discussion with... myself, on the meaning of 'tryst', new topic. But firstlet me assure you, I do not want to have anymore meetings with this boy, this will be our only one. I do not like him.

I received a letter from Mother late last night. Why she wrote me ,I haven't a clue, as the letter was rather dull.

_Son,_

_How are you doing? It is rather boring here, and I feel that I will soon go mad from the lack of communication. Don't bother mentioning that the House Elves are good for a chat, I've already tried that once. The poor creature seemed ready to faint when I tried to strike up a conversation, so I dismissed it and took a nap in the morning room, again. I know I shouldn't have done that, as the couch will start to get thread bare if I keep this up, but I'm afraid I just don't have the heart to sleep in strike our /strike my room._

_I haven't received any notification on your Father's whereabouts, but I suppose I shall receive something in due time. Or perhaps he feels I have abandoned him, which I highly doubt is the case. But with your Father, one never knows. If you recieve anything from him, would you please send a copy of it tome? I fear he is one of his moods again._

_Are you still receiving the Daily Profit? It grows more interesting with the passing of each day._

_I've included a bag of fudge for you, as I know how you love it. All I ask is that you don't eat it all at once, for you could get a stomach ache. Surely you remember when you were younger, and you had found your way into the kitchens? I remember your Father was extremely displeased. But I shouldn't think of your Father right now, as it makes my heart flounder at the thought of him._

_I do hope I receive your reply within the week; how I miss your repartee._

_,Your mother._

Sometimes I wonder about her, and how she can stand doing what she does. Father is most likely gone, never to return, and still she sits patiently like a good wife, waiting for a reply. I don't think I could ever be that patient. And she tells me her 'heart flounders at the thought of him'? I've never heard that expression cross her lips before. Perhaps the boredom really is getting to her.

I met with Potter yesterday, but it didn't go as planned. But then again, things never do go as planned do they? Our meeting was shortlived, as a few of his 'good friends' ruined it for us. Ah well, at least he has his flower.

Ye Gods! By flower I meant the one I gave him when I saw him yesterday, not "that" flower.

But I shouldn't think of Potter right now, as it makes my heart flounder at the thought of him.

Apparently that weasel girl is back from her stay in the hospital wing. A rumor has been going around that I hexed her, oh how I wish it was true.

So now that girl is back, I haven't had a decent meeting with Potter, I have a tryst with a Hufflepuff to look foreword to, and my Mother is losing her sanity. It seems I look foreword to a delightful future, eh?

DM

* * *

Heh, I just couldn't resist that flower comment XD

Love you guys, and I'm sorry, but I just don't have the time to answer the reviews right now... (I'm going off on a horrid family trip):

fire-icecat, fifespice, Sunshine Stacy, SilentSleepingInTheCold, Majin-koz, winky-wink, (First reviwer for this chapter) Wallpaper!


	20. Cookie Ravenclaw Tryst

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

* * *

**A/N: A journal entry will not be present in this chapter. Draco's entry will be posted sometime next week, along with Harry's entry. And now, on with the cookie :)**

* * *

This is ridiculous. Actually, no, that doesn't even begin to describe the situation I've gotten myself into. This is utterly horrifying. First of all I, a Malfoy by name and birth, agreed to meet a boy from _Ravenclaw_ on a date of sorts.

Second of all, I agreed.

And third of all, oh this really stirs the cauldron, I agreed to actually wait for the imbecile at a designated location.

I hate myself for agreeing to this. The boy I'm with right now, sitting next to actually, isn't a shy one. Oh no. He's already shown up late (and without any apology or explanation), he ordered my food without considering my tastes, and he isn't _wearing any socks_.

He's managed to make me utterly loathe him in a matter of minutes. That must be a record.

Hmm... Actually, I guess that isn't a hard thing to do though... I hate quite a lot of people... Not necessarily enough to kill them of course, I mean who wants to bother with that and-

"Draco?" a voice interrupted my thoughts.

I looked up, and slightly blushed. I had been staring at the tablecloth, absorbed in my own thoughts.

He grinned a bit, revealing teeth that... Well I won't even bother thinking about them, "What were you thinking about just now?"

I sighed and looked away, "Nothing really. Just that I'd like to move on to dessert and get out of here." Preferably minus the dessert, and right on to the get away from you part.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him lean a little closer, "We can get out of here right now if you'd like."

"Yes that would be nice-"

"And move on to dessert a little later." he said in a way I could only assume was meant to sound sexy. Or maybe not. Maybe his comment is really of an innocent nature, and not meant to-

The boy lifted his eyebrows and grinned.

Ok, scratch that. He does want me.

"I don't know..." I said trying to search for some excuse as to why I couldn't see him later, "I have some stuff to do." Well, isn't that a lame excuse.

"Oh really," he said, "Busy boy, eh?"

"Yes." I nodded, trying not to roll my eyes, "I am."

It was then things started to go downhill. Scratch that, things simply fell off a cliff.

"I'd like to help you." he whispered softly, leaning closer.

"That's nice, but I really have to-" I was caught off guard, and stopped mid-sentence when he grabbed my face in his hands and rammed his mouth against mine. It all happened so fast, and I really only remember that his teeth hit mine and I thought he was trying to eat me. But somehow, for some reason, I went along with the kiss anyway...

_'Oh Merlin, I hope no one I know saw him kiss me-'_

"DRACO?" a familiar voice broke through my thoughts, and I pushed the Ravenclaw away when I realized who it was. Oh no, oh no, this isn't good...

"Hermione." I said, voice cracking, "How nice it is to see you."

I looked at the Ravenclaw, wanting to hit him. He was leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, with a cocky look on his face. _'Bastard.'_

I quickly stood up, pushing my chair in. I reached into my pocket, and tossed at him a few coins. "Hope that covers the cost." I turned to Hermione. She was watching me with an eyebrow raised, and some indecipherable expression on her face. I merely shrugged and walked away quickly before anymore damage could be done.

"I'll owl you later." I heard the damned Ravenclaw say as a walked away.

I could hear Hermione right on my heels, and waited till I was out of sight of the Ravenclaw before I turned and acknowledged her presence. I looked at her right in the eye, crossing my arms, and waited for her to say something.

"You were just kissing a bloke Malfoy."

I sighed, "Yeah, so I noticed."

Raising an eyebrow, "Since when does Malfoy kiss blokes?" she said.

"Oh don't worry, Malfoy kisses the opposite sex as well." I said, grinning innocently.

"You know what I mean Malfoy. How long has this been going on?"

"Um... well..." I looked away, "I don't feel comfortable telling you everything... but um... For a while."

She looked at me in anger, "And I thought you liked Harry. Guess you really are a slut."

"Hey, I'm not a..." I said before completely processing what she had said.

_'Oh Merlin, she knows... How did she- who told her- when did she- why didn't she tell...' I closed my eyes briefly, trying to calm the flurry of thoughts racing through my brain. This is not good. Harry must know then, why wouldn't she of told him?'_

Looking at my hands, "So how long has Harry known then?" I said softly, utterly defeated.

"Good thing for you... and him, he doesn't." she said.

"You didn't tell him? Why didn't you-" I said as she cut me off.

"I figured it wasn't the right thing to do. You're the one who likes him, so you're the one to tell him." she laughed, "He knows where your journal is at anyway, it wouldn;t be very hard for him to read it you know."

"Yes but... he said he wouldn't and..."I sighed, "I guess I believed him."

"Touching." she said, "But that doesn't mean other people won't read it. Me for instance."

"Yes, true." I glance at her, and then away, "And now I guess you think I'm the world's biggest idiot for going with this bloke and..." I frowned, "Now you actually saw him kissing me."

"Yes, that's the basic gist of it." I looked at her, "And I guess you're not going to listen to me about anything, right? I mean, I am a Malfoy. There's no reason for you to trust me. You might as well just tell Potter, get my humiliation over with, as you're never going to believe-"

She cut me off by shoving her hand against my mouth, "Just shut up, OK? Listen to me. I know you like Harry, and in more then a 'friends" way. Alright I'm fine with that. I know all about your family's problems, namely the up and coming Deatheater thing. I'm OK with that, as I know how to help you. I'm even OK with the fact that you might want to um... Have sexual relations with my best friend...

"What I'm not OK with is the fact that you were just kissing another bloke, when you like one of my best friends. Now what I'm going to do is meet with you tonight, and we can discuss everything. You're going to agree, and everything will be solved."

"Um I... Uh..." I felt like a fish out of water.

_'Can this be happening?'_

She smiled, "A simple nod will do."

I nodded, still in shock.

"Good. Now let's set up a meeting place..."

I listened as she explained to me where to meet her, how to get there, and when. I was about to walk away when she hit me with the big one, "Oh, and I'm bringing Harry."

I turned around, mouth open wide enough to catch flies. _'IS SHE SERIOUS?'_

She still had that stupid grin on her face as she waved goodbye, and walked past me. _'Oh this isn't good. This is not good. I am not meeting her. Nuh-uh no way in hell.'_

"If you're not there, I'll tell him everything." she said casually over her shoulder.

_'FUCK.'_

* * *

**I really hope you all don't hate me for not updating in a really long time... Umm, I'm not even sure any of my original readers will read this, although I hope they do...**

**Well, thank-you to everyone that R&R's!**

**Until next time, TBC...**


	21. Entry 20

**Rating:** PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**Pairings:** RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

**User Info** _(Draco's Profile)_

**User Information**

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

**User:** **silverevil46**

**Draco Malfoy's Journal**

_My Journal_

**Name:** silverevil46

**Location:** Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

**AOL IM:** silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

**Bio:** I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

**Interests:** blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake. _Remove some _

**Account type:** Free Account

_(more details...)_

* * *

**Wednesday- September 19**

I'm still shaken up over the events that occurred earlier today. I don't like being shaken up, it just doesn't feel right. I am of noble birth, I should be able to stand up, pound my fists to my god-like chest, and laugh in the face of evil. What the laughing and pounding have to do with being a Malfoy, I haven't a clue... But they are the stereotypical things I'm supposed to do, right?

OK, I guess that means I'd also have to enjoy killing people, doing the Dark Lord's every whim, and having a cartload of mistresses.

None of those really appeal to me right now, especially the mistresses... I was found out during my tryst by... no, I won't say, it's too embarrassing... Well, they basically saw me kissing this bloke I don't really even like (he forced himself upon me!) and thought I was being untrue to... a certain someone I may or may not lust after.

But it's only lust, there's no reason I should be bound to them an remain faithful, yes?

But this person, whom shall remain nameless, is stupid and believes I actually like some idiot, whom they are friends with, and thinks I should be faithful. Haha I say, there's no hope of anything ever coming from this relationship...

Right now I do not want to think about the next few hours that are planned for me... I am to meet a certain someone, and their friend and... Ugh, bloody hell. This is just childish. I admit it, it was Granger that found me out, and her friend is... well, you get the picture.

I don't see why she treated it like I was cheating on Potter, as we're obviously not together, and I really don't like him that much, and I am a "slut" after all, right? None of it should matter to her. This is my life. If I want to have numerous trysts, then I will.

All right, I'm just ranting again. But I'm sure you get the picture. I snogged, she saw, I was yelled at and beaten forcefully at wand-point. (minus the beating part.)

But then she did something despicable. Oh yes, something very very rotten and nasty, and most un-Gryffindor-like... What did she do you may or may not ask? Well, she is forcing me to have a little meeting of sorts with her later tonight so that we can discuss "everything." What this everything is, I haven't a clue. And that's not the worst part, cause I mean, what could be worse then discussing "everything" with a Gryffindor?

She's bringing Potter with her.

Added to this little equation for disaster is the promise that if I don't show up, she'll tell Harry everything.

Looking at the clock, I realize I have one hour till I am doomed. Merlin save me...

What gets me though, besides the whole Potter-threat-thing, is that she of all people thinks that she can help me with my joining the Dark Lord problem. I would laugh, but then I remember that she had told me that she reads my LJ and...

And she is so pretty and cool and I worship her and I wish I could be like her and I hope she isn't here as I mime throwing up on the keyboard.

-DM

-----------------------------------------------------------------

**Comments:**

-----------------------------------------------------------------

From: fluffysmarts  
Malfoy, I hope you get this before you leave but... I suggest you check Harry's LJ... We are not meeting tonight, and perhaps for a while.  
_(Reply to this) (Thread)_  
**_Why are you commenting?_**

From: fluffysmarts  
Idiot, just read it.  
_(Reply to this) (Thread)_  
**_Stop ordering me to do things... Fine, I'll read it, but only because I want to..._**

* * *

As always: for those of you who do not have access to the interactive LJ, here is the fanfiction version. It will not be interactive, but I am still going to use the other one (the LJ one that is) for the interactive part. Because the interactive version's replies are not part of this story, I am afraid they are not going to be in this version.

I appologize for those of you who are really PO'd I didn't update for so long... I have my reasons, but I am still sorry. I hope you will still read the series. Cheers.


	22. Entry 21

Rating: PG-13 for now  
**Summary:** Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the **User: quidditchlovrhp** series.  
**Warnings:** Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

PG-13 for now Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the series. Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

Pairings: RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

RW/HG, NL/LL, HP/GW, HP/DM Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR.

User Info _(Draco's Profile)_

User Information

Below is user information for silverevil46. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

User: **silverevil46 **

Draco Malfoy's Journal

My Journal

Name: silverevil46

Location: Malfoy Manor, United Kingdom

AOL IM: silverevil46 _(Add User, Send Message)_

silverevil46 

Bio: I'm a gorgeous bloke with blonde hair and blue eyes. I live with my beyond rich parents in our murderous mansion. I have a lot to live up to, but that doesn't mean I have to.I live with my mum and dad in our manor. I doubt you could find it though, as only purebloods can enter alone, and only Malfoy's can get in. I suppose I should write more, but why bother? This is a muggle site... Ugh...

Interests: blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake. _Remove some _

blokes, chess, draco malfoy, harassing fellow students, looking gorgeous, me, muggle guitar being spoiled, muggle rock n roll, my alone time, my hair, myself, oranges, painting, poetry, potions, purebloods, quidditch, reading, the dark arts, tree by the lake. 

Account type: Free Account

(more details...)

Thursday- September 20

* * *

I have no clue how to put this... it just seems unthinkable I would be put in a situation like this... Simply put: I must kill Harry or die trying.

Now of course I know all sorts of questions must be scampering through your head, but hear me out. I'm just as confused as you.

Last night I was rudely awakened by a student... of sorts. He notified me I had to get dressed immediantly, or go as I was, to a Death Eater meeting. Naturally I was shocked, and not at all delighted, to learn this. I agreed to go, although I felt at the time that I was surely walking right into the face of death. I followed the bloke out of the castle, and then to the edge of the grounds. It was there (outside the castle gates) a carriage was waiting. It's always been the custom to keep the place of the meeting a secret, so I was not at all surprised when a pair of hands reached over my shoulders and tied a blindfold over my eyes. Then I was led into the carriage and ordered not to speak a word or else.

It does sound cliche, I admit, this "or else" phrase... but when you're sure you're being lead to your death I doubt you would choose not to obey it.

After what felt like hours spent in a horribly uncomfortable position, the carriage stopped. I heard others being led out, and then a pair of arms grabbed me and I meekly followed. I could hear soft voices, and suddenly the blindfold was pulled off my face.

Sitting around an innocent looking campfire were three figures in black cloaks. I took a seat on an empty log, and looking around me I glimpsed a few of my peers. Directly in front of me, and sitting rather nervously next to a cloaked figure, was Crabbe and Goyle. Near them was the Ravenclaw boy, the one mentioned earlier in my journal. Off to my left was the oh-so-lovely Pansy Parkinson... and the whole time it seemed like she stared at me,a malicious look in her eyes.

But whatever. She knows not to talk to me anymore.

I don't exactly know of everything that took place, as most of it sounded like rubbish to my ears... but I did hear of an interesting plot the Death Eaters are planning... Or maybe it has already been planned and set into action? Either way, it doesn't sound too good for the Ministry.

After a bit of this talk, we were welcomed and asked to state our names, if we are in allegiance with the Dark Lord, etc etc. Of course I agreed I was. I mean, I don't want to die, right?

And then after more of this welcoming thing, we were each taken off for a few moments by the Death Eaters so that they could have a little talk with us. I was last, and only one Death Eater went over to talk to me. Any guesses who the fellow was?

Innocently enough I followed the cloaked figure, away from the fire, till he turned to me. Without a word he pulled off his mask, and I tried to the best of my abilities not to hide my fear as I was confronted with...

Lucious Malfoy, my Father.

He talked to me about a lot of things... rumors of my unallegiance, rumors I'm now a muggle sympathizer, all sorts of rubbish... But really, it was all a big lead in to the the "big one." By that I mean something shocking, horrible, nerve-wracking, etc etc... Well, big surprise, but word of these rumors had reached the Dark Lord himself, and he was not at all happy. And then Father preceded to tell me my own Mum couldn't be trusted... Apparently she's gone crazy or something like that? He was very vague.

Anyway, that's not the bad part. What's bad is that Father feels our family name is in trouble of being disgraced.

"Oh boo-hoo" an outsider might say, "what's so bad about that?" Everything. One of the worst things you can do in a family such as mine, is bring disgrace to your family name. It's just... I don't know how to explain it... Me, I've been hearing of this since birth, so it's been brainwashed into me to not ever bring any sort of disgrace to my family. Ever.

Hm, where was I? Oh yes...

Father explained all this to me and then told me of the Dark Lord's "special plan" for me, the Malfoy heir. To bring honor back to my name he suggested something, something to which Father happily agreed.

I must lead Harry Potter into a trap, where he will be captured by the Death Eaters and... and killed. Then, and only then, would I be allowed to get my Dark Mark at the proper ceremony...

Father then looked at me with no emotion and said, "And if you fail to do that Draco... I will kill you. There is no reason for you to ever fail in a mission given to you by our Lord. Do you understand?"

I simply nodded. What else could I do? Scream in his face and throw a tantrum?

And now as I sit hear, that is exactly what I want to do... But I can't. I'm trapped.

-DM

* * *

Yes, there was a delay... sorry. Harry's LJ should be out later this week... It all depends on when I get my computer back :( Cheers.


	23. Entry 22

Rating: PG-13 for now  
Summary: Draco Malfoy's Live Journal for his 6th year. Second part of the User: quidditchlovrhp series.  
Warnings: Slash (later chapters, none now) and swearing.

**User: silverevil46 **

_Draco Malfoy's Journal_

**

* * *

****Friday September 21**

I'm sure Harry is far more confused then I am right now... His eyes, when they ran away from me, told it all. The only thing I can do is keep telling myself that he will come around and actually realize that he might have feelings for me as well...

But who am I kidding? I still live in a closet for Merlin's sake. I can't even get my own house mates to accept me. Yes, I admit outwardly it seems like everything is in place, but when I'm alone with them things are different... And now that I've done this _thing_ I don't know what to do with them anymore... If they found out, then I'm dead.

You may be wondering what I'm talking about, and this should be the place where I reveal it all... But I just can't do that right now. Until Harry is... ready for it all to be in the open, I'm not saying one thing about it.

I almost have this urge right now to just demand that Potter read this journal, so that in some way he'll be able to see how hard it was for me to do what I did... and why it took so long. Me, well I'm still confused myself...

What I'm not confused about are my feelings. I like Harry Potter, I've accepted that. I'm gay, I've learned to accept that as well.

What I don't understand is... Harry.

Why is it that when things seem so obvious to those around us, they are never obvious to ourselves? That is what I believe Harry's problem is... Not that I want to play psychiatrist or anything, but... I just don't understand why he thinks the way he does.

After that whole Ginny incident practically everyone _hated_ the bloke and now they're in love with him all over again. I remember once asking him about that, and his response was something like he figured no one was perfect and that they'd come around sooner or later. This makes me almost want to shout, so why am I not regarded in that same manner?

I thought it was obvious that I had changed from a spoiled git to something different... but it really wasn't.

Or is it just Harry that has refused to see me for what I am?

I think it might be him. This year I have made new friends... some I never would of expected. This year I have also lost many friends, many I never really regarded as friends in the first place...

But now I'm rambling, and that's not going to help anything... Not that talking could help anything anyway. I'm stuck here in the library, worried and tired. I just want to talk, be truer then I ever have before... and yet there is no way for me to find my outlet.

Harry Potter, why can't you trust me? Do you even realize how trapped I feel? On one hand I am being ordered to kill you, and on the other you won't even trust me enough to let me tell you that. (Catch-22 anyone?)

Harry Potter, do you truly know what I have given up just to even regard you as a friend? The old me is gone, I have put that mask to rest. Why do you insist on seeing the fake me?

Like I've said in the past, I am me. I am Draco Malfoy.

But I am also a Death Eater. I also must kill you Harry Potter based off the whims of a mad man. I must live with the knowledge my life will never be happy... I think I might as well just give up. Being a Death Eater would be a safe, it's an utterly emotionless existence. I would not be killed for disobeying orders, I would not feel like I failed my family... I would not feel anything.

I like you Harry, please try and understand what I do and don't do.

-DM

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**comments**

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**from:** fluffysmarts  
Malfoy what happened with you and Harry?  
_(reply to this)(thread)_

_**Ask him. I'm not saying.**_

**from:** fluffysmarts  
I thought this talk would heal things... not bring up all this trash all over again... I'm honestly sorry things didn't go the way I thought they would.  
_(reply to this)(thread)_

_**Don't apologize, I'm the one that's fucked everything up... In fact, I am the one that's fucked up.**_

**from:** fluffysmarts  
No, no, don't you dare say that! Malfoy can't you see your options? You don't need to be a Death Eater, ok? I will help you out, that much I can promise you... Malfoy, I'm practically in tears over this mess... we need to sort it out ASAP.  
_(reply to this)(thread)_

_**I'm going to go for a walk now.**_

**from:** fluffysmarts  
All we need to do is let Harry know, and then everything will fall into place... I'm sure of it.  
_(reply to this)(thread)_

_**Fine.**_

**from:** fluffysmarts  
Stay right there in the library, I'll come and find you.  
_(reply to this)(thread)_

* * *

Be warned, you might not be hearing from Draco for a little while... I'll leave you to think on that.

-Jackie


	24. Cookie

**Friday September 21:** 11:18 pm

The second she told me to wait in the library, I knew it was something I just couldn't do. She thought this was her fault for some reason, when really it wasn't. It was mine. I had known from the beginning it would never work, and that this fantasy I had was just that. A fantasy. Something that would never happen in real life.

"So why did you kiss him?" I said aloud to myself, watching my breath puff out in a cloud.

It was night, and I was sitting alone out in the quidditch stands. I didn't bother to conceal myself as I walked out from the school, as I figured no one would be watching anyway. No one in Hogwarts really gives a crap about Draco Malfoy right now anyway.

I rubbed my eyes. The were dry, but not from crying. I don't cry afterall. "Why the hell did I do that?" I asked myself... although I knew the answer.

Leaning back, I crained my neck and looked at the night sky. It seemed just as far away and out of reach as usual, despite the fact that I was currently seated in the top row. There was a faint breeze, and I felt at peace... if only for a moment.

Closing my eyes, I listened to the night sounds. Crickets. Rustling grass. Sqeaucky quidditch stands.

"I should leave him alone." I said, but knew I could never keep the promise, "He hates me."

And I knew it was the truth. He had somehow accepted me as some sort of a friend... and then I ruined it... And I would keep on ruining it until... until I was dead I guess. Licking my lips, I stared up at the sky again. So peaceful, and only the old creaking stands to keep me company.

"Hopefully he'll talk to me tomorrow." I sighed, knowing he wouldn't tomorrow. Or the next day. Or year.

Closing my eyes, I realized I wasn't alone. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. "I doubt that," they said softly.

Taking in a breath, I looked them right in the eye. I wasn't surprised, I had known something like this was brewing.

"Fuck you Draco Malfoy. Stay away from him." said another voice. Slowly I turned my head to look at them.

"Now that's a surprise." I said to them. I hadn't expected this one to get involved at all... The other one I could understand, but why would-

"Not really." said with a smirk on their face, and raising their wand in front of my nose.

I thought for a few seconds, and then gave a small nod. "You're right. The clues were all there."

The first one laughed slightly, glancing at the other.

"And now you're going to kill me." I said carefully.

My only answer was a slight nod. They barely moved their lips, but I felt the spell hit me all the same as I fell back into the stands. I was half awake when I felt them force open my mouth, and almost gagged when a liquid hit my throat.

I looked into their eyes as everything started to fade. In my last moments, all I could see was their white smiles, almost glowing their hooded faces.

* * *

And so the mystery begins. Hopefully none of you are too mad at me for killing him off... Or maybe he isn't dead?

Heehee we shall see :P

Please review!


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